In Honor of my father-in-law, Wilson O. Ball, who would have been 103 this month.


This time I am going to write not about my dad but about my father-in-law.

As most of you know, Karen Kay died on Nov. 20, 2018, leaving me a widower (strange archaic word) with a large house to clean out and the usual end-of-year activities (donations, finding tax records, getting out the annual Christmas letter) to perform.  Meanwhile, I want to take the time to put onto paper one of my favorite family stories. 

Karen Kay and I grew up on opposite sides of the state Oklahoma, both children of  small businessmen in smallish towns and cities.  It is that common background which enabled us to be married for 53 years and never have a single argument over money.

Karen Kay was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis while she was in college, after we were engaged but a year before the wedding.  During that summer I was in Wynnewood, Oklahoma, visiting at her parents' home.


While I was lolling around their house, Wilson called from the OTASCO store to ask me to ride along while he delivered a large console TV set to a rural home.  I agreed and he came by the house shortly thereafter with the TV already on the truck for our journey to the customer's home.  On the way there,  he revealed the true purpose of the call.


"Jack, I suppose you know that Karen has been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis."  Yes, sir.  "Do you know what that means?"  I know she will be in constant discomfort and at some point will probably develop colon cancer. "It will also be hard on you and on any children you might have.  I just wanted you to know, that if the prospect is frightening or uncomfortable, we won't respect you less if you decide you shouldn't go on with the marriage."  Karen Kay and I have talked it over, and we have no plans to change our minds.  "But I also know it will be hard financially for you, and with your educational plans, you may find it hard to get the resources to take care of her.  Irene and I have talked it over and, although our resources are limited too, we will help you to whatever extent we are able."  Thank you, sir. And I knew he was right, he lived close to the financial edge even as my own father did.


That was the kind of man I was raised by:  You talk about the good and the bad of the situation, and you offer hope and acceptance.  I expect my own father would have had that kind of conversation with his future daughters-in-law if it had been necessary.   I am only sorry that my children didn't get to know their maternal grandfather better:  he was killed in an automobile accident shortly before turning 50 and while Karen Kay was carrying his third grandchild in her womb.  


Here's to Wilson Oscar Ball and the bright legacy he left.